Have you ever met someone who dresses elegantly, speaks confidently, and appears successful, only to discover that their attitude towards others is completely different from what you expected?
Imagine two young men attending the same gathering. The first wears expensive clothes, owns the latest phone, and attracts everyone's attention. The second dresses modestly and has little money to show off. At first, people admire the first man more.
But as the gathering continues, the wealthy young man begins to mock others, speak arrogantly, and treat people according to what they possess. Meanwhile, the modest young man speaks respectfully, listens patiently, and offers help without expecting anything in return.
By the time the gathering ends, the person who attracted the most attention may not be the person who earned the most respect.
This is one of life's important lessons: appearance can attract attention, but character determines the kind of impression we leave behind.
An Arabic poem captures this wisdom beautifully:
Ù„َÙŠْسَ الْÙŠَتِيمُ الَّØ°ِÙŠ Ù‚َدْ Ù…َاتَ ÙˆَالِدُÙ‡ُ
Ø¥ِÙ†َّ الْÙŠَتِيمَ ÙŠَتِيمُ الْعِÙ„ْÙ…ِ ÙˆَالْØ£َدَبِ
“The orphan is not merely the one whose father has died; the true orphan, in this metaphorical sense, is the one deprived of knowledge and good manners.”
The poem does not diminish the pain of children who lose their parents. Rather, it draws our attention to the importance of education, guidance, and good character in shaping a person's life.
Think about it: what is the benefit of having wealth without wisdom, beauty without humility, or education without good manners? What is the value of being celebrated by people if those who know us closely experience our arrogance, dishonesty, or cruelty?
In real life, we have seen people with little money become highly respected because they are honest, generous, and dependable. We have also seen people with great wealth lose the trust of others because of their behaviour.
Allah says:
ÙˆَØ¥ِÙ†َّÙƒَ Ù„َعَÙ„َÙ‰ٰ Ø®ُÙ„ُÙ‚ٍ عَظِيمٍ
“And indeed, you are of a great moral character.” (Qur'an 68:4)
The Prophet Muhammad (ï·º) was honoured not for worldly luxury but for his truthfulness, mercy, humility, and excellent character.
Perhaps the question we should ask ourselves today is not, “How impressive do I look?” but rather, “How do people feel after interacting with me?”
Do our words encourage or discourage? Do we respect people who cannot offer us anything in return? Are we pursuing knowledge that improves our understanding and manners, or are we only trying to appear successful?
Remember, expensive clothes will eventually wear out, physical beauty will change, and material possessions can disappear. But the goodness we show others can leave a lasting impression long after we are gone.
May Allah beautify our hearts with knowledge, our behaviour with good manners, and our lives with humility and sincerity. Amin.